I remember the first time that I saw the Samuel Beckett play Waiting for Godot. It was a televised production on PBS that aired at night years ago. Part of me knew that that the play was famous and had some importance in the world of theater, but those were the only things that I brought with me to that first viewing. Now in hindsight, I think that I was unprepared.
I had no idea why the one character was being so mean to the other character. What I do know is that I found the every increasing violence to be distasteful. This was not Shakespeare. This was not Tennessee Williams. This was something ugly and unkind.
Now a decade older and having a better understanding of theater, I have come to know that Beckett deals in what is known as theater of the absurd. There is no plot per se. There is no overt action. Dialogue is everything even though it is harsh and at times repetitive. So with these tools in hand, I felt that I was somewhat more prepared for witnessing another Beckett play, Endgame, tonight before I went to work.
Once again I was confronted with two characters who argue with one another and who are violent towards one another. One character is more dominant than the other, but both of them seem to be equally trapped in a world lacking life. Then the word play begins. They ask questions of each other, but seem less than satisfied with the answers. Talking becomes more of a chore than anything else. There is no real goal in mind.
Maybe this is the point of Beckett plays. I do not know. I personally find them to be tiresome.
Lately I have been feeling more and more frustrated with my life. I have no idea if it has to due with me comparing my situation to other people that I know or because I see so little change happening in my life. Here are some examples:
One
person that I know is still going to school and part of me envies his being
immersed in that kind of an environment. To be able to learn something new every week and be asked to think is something that I miss in my life. My job does neither of those functions and reading on my own is not enough. I need more of a challenge. Sadly I can not leave my job when I am busy paying two mortgages.
Another person that I know purchased an iPhone and I have to say that I was impressed by the device. As for me, there are a number of computer / tech things that I want to do, but never seem to have the time to do them. For instance, I want to use my digital camera more so that I can experiment with HDR. I want to purchase a new larger external drive so I can download more scanned comic books. I want to transform my old Apple Blue and White G3 machine into a Linux music server.
Physically I am doing fine. In fact, I would almost go as far saying that my exercise regimen is better than ever. Tone has started to return to my stomach and I am looking forward to being able to ride my bike again in a month or two.
Over the years, I have had somewhat of a love hate relationship with the Teen Titans. A friend of mine in high school love the characters when they were at their zenith during the Perez Wolfman era, but I was slow to join the bandwagon. At that tome DC was still a murky universe to me and I had problems with taking a green skinned boy who called himself Changeling seriously. Years later, I have come to appreciate what DC did with their sidekick characters and many of them have eclipsed their mentors in my eyes. For me, Dick Grayson is infinitely more interesting than Bruce Wayne. Without a doubt, I have more respect for someone who can be normal after being raised by someone who is borderline psychotic than someone trying to avenge dead parents.
Lately, I have been away from the book, but saw that Ravager was going to take center stage in an arc. Rose Wilson, the daughter of professional mercenary Slade Wilson, has to be one of the best modern characters in the DC universe. I love both her look and attitude. So I am pleased to say that I am very thrilled by issue fifty seven that is all about her defending the tower by herself. She has wit and she has skills. What more could I want from a character?
Having almost completed three years on the title, Ed Brubaker continues to impress me with his writing on Captain America. Oh, there are times when I miss Steve Rogers, but what had been his supporting cast is just as interesting as he was when he was the central character. James Barnes and Natasha make a great team and I hope that Steve does not make a miraculous return from the grave any time soon. Another strength of the book is the solid artwork of Steve Epting and Butch Guice.
I know that I have said this many times, but I love the middle of the night. Three in the morning is probably when I think the best in the course of the day. Overall things are quiet and I can finally put my thoughts in order. There are no distractions and without the sun around, one can not mistake my pondering for daydreaming.
A somewhat depressing thought crossed my mind earlier this week. I will not be going on vacation until July. Sigh. Three months feels like a long time of nothing but work in my life. I have been trying to keep my mind focused on things other than work, but sometimes I just get caught up in the day to day existence. Suddenly all that I do is eat, sleep and work. I find that pattern to be very dehumanizing and I can not understand how people can accept that way of life as normal. Yes, I should not complain. When I step back, my life is good. I have a wife and family who love me. I have a job that allows me to pay for two mortgages and not reduce me to eating sandwiches three times a day. I am healthy and I have time to do things that I enjoy.
I like to think that music is a daily part of my life so I was more than a little surprised to see that according to iTunes, I have not listened to any music on my computer since March 20. As to why and or how that happened I do not know. Yes, I listened to music on my car during that same time frame, but I find it odd that no music was heard during my time on the computer for almost a week. So today I not only listened to music on my computer, but also deleted some tracks that have not been played since early last year. One might call it spring cleaning of a sort.
After almost a week of temperatures during the day above the freezing mark, yesterday there were just traces of snow here and there on the ground. Now everything is completely covered and the forecast says that between five and eight inches of snow are going to fall today. Winter is still here. I am not shocked.
I had a very odd dream where people were afraid of me and I had no idea why. My family did their best to protect me whenever I was in public. It was as if they were my own private bodyguard system. Then something happened. I saw myself in a mirror and could see that my entire body was bandaged. As to why I was not aware of this fact before seeing myself, I do not know. This did, however, explain why people were looking so strangely at me. Then suddenly the scene shifted and I was at a museum of some sort where there was a display of a damaged human brain. Somehow the brain had been infected and I was told that that was had happened to me.
Once again time moved forward and the bandages fell away and I was with a group of people eating. A family member or friend warned me not to eat what the other people were eating or I would fall victim once more to the mysterious virus. From what I could see the food looked perfectly normal, except for the fact that all of the people were eating with toothpicks. Then in the role of all knowing narrator and or voice over, I learned that meat had somehow been contaminated and even a small portion led to hallucinations and then paralysis. Foolish me did not believe that this could be true so I took just a small bite and immediately felt my limbs stiffen slightly and my vision blur.
Those are the details that I remember the best. I have no idea what triggered this bizarre dream and or what I am meant to take away from it. I do not think that this is how mad cow disease affects people, but I could be wrong. I found the whole experience to very weird.
Somehow the month has reached the halfway point and I have yet to say a word since the wedding. So where do I start? I think that I need to do an information dump of my brain if anything is going to work here.
00:00 – Work was slow so I decided to test some ISDN for various customers. This is something that I do each month and having some down time was a perfect opportunity to get that task out of the way or at the very least started.00:30 – I had a brief conversation about the latest episode of Survivor on CBS. Both of us agreed that seeing Jonathan forced out of the game due to an injury was harsh. Jonathan has been playing a strong game and to see him leave so early was disappointing. Overall I have been enjoying this latest season of Survivor. None of the fans have impressed me that much, but I am very pleased to see Amanda, James and Ozzy again. All three of them are fun to watch although Amanda must have a better fitting swimsuit this season, because there has been far less blurring of her ass this time around.
01:14 – Spoke with a programmer from India. He was looking for a folder on a server that I seldom access. I did not find it, but told him that he probably has different rights to the server than I do. I think that he understood what I meant. Whenever I speak with them, I have to wonder what they think of their American employer. We must seem either inept to them or very rude. I hope that that is not the case when they wok with me.
02:45 – Problems started to happen in South Carolina. I suspect that they are weather related, but that has yet to be confirmed by AT&T.
03:05 – I head upstairs to the cafeteria for some lunch. Someone from my department had bought pizza from a local restaurant that I like so I ate that instead of the lasagna that I had brought with me from home. After having the issue with me for at least a month, I finally had a chance to read the first issue of the Annihilation Conquest series by Marvel. Lately, I have been very disappointed by what Marvel is producing, but the writing tram of Abnett and Lanning who had a good run on Legion for DC, quickly drew me into a well crafted story using some of Marvel's best outer space dwelling characters. It was good to see Adam Warlock again.
04:00 – Back from lunch I notice various alarms coming from a major application that our customers use. On both Saturday and Sunday, we had seen these same alarms, but the frequency of them had not been as strong. Plus they eventually stopped. This is not the case today. I might need to call someone to get some answers.
06:15 – I had an interesting discussion with someone from another department about the high cost of taxes in Wisconsin. I knew where he lived and was not shocked to hear what he pays in taxes. Then the topic turned to where I might be going for my honeymoon. I said Russia. Then the discussion shifted to how the Euro is crushing the American dollar. Naturally reminded me of how when I first went to Europe eight years ago, the Euro had yet to be readily adopted by Europe. The American dollar was strong and I went home with eight different foreign currencies in my backpack.
06:30 - By the time that the first shift crew walked into the office, I was ready to go home. The night had been steady when all that I wanted was some down time.
08:10 – I make my way into the exercise room and am pleased to see that no one else is there. Yesterday I had skipped working out, because I was so tired and I needed to go see my old condo. The most recent feedback from a showing had been less than favorable so I wanted to see for myself if what the person has stated was true or not.
11:30 – Despite on verge of collapse from lack of sleep, I watched the final half hour of the TLC program What Not to Wear. Yes, I confess that I have an odd love hate relationship with Stacy London. I find her oddly compelling and annoying at the same time. Plus I like seeing what these women will let Stacy and Clinton do to them when it comes to clothing styles.
12:00 – I also watched some footage of a St. Patrick's Day parade in New York. I have Irish blood in me, but have never that much interest in the holiday. Too many people just seem to see it as an excuse to drink to excess. I think that that is what turns me off more than anything else.
18:15 – I woke up fifteen minutes before my alarm was set to go off. I felt relaxed and warm under the blankets.
18:30 – Spent some time online reading various web sites.
19:45 – Showered.
20:05 – Realized that I needed to eat something before I went to work.
20:35
– My wife came home and we spent some time together before I went to work.
One more night or work and I will be free of the place for ten whole days. Things will be very chaotic this week, but on Sunday I have no desire to do anything but relax.
The cleaning people were doing their thing inside the locker room this morning so that was reason enough for me to skip my time on the elliptical machine. I had done my time on both Saturday and Sunday and today was also on my personal calendar, but lack of sleep yesterday made the decision that much easier for me.
Why I did not have much sleep was due to a screening of the movie The Other Boleyn Girl Sunday night before work. Various reviews that I have read have panned it as nothing more than a bodice ripper, but I enjoyed it and my enjoyment had more to do than just my appreciation of Natalie and Scarlet. I simply love Tudor history in almost any form. Mangled historical facts can be overlooked when it comes to that portion of the royal family. Henry freed England from the Catholic church and never looked back. Plus he sired Elizabeth. Amazing stuff as far as I am concerned.
I managed to watch two more episodes of the anime series Full Metal Panic this morning and I love the humor in the series. The facial expressions of Kaname are so much fun to watch.
No snow fell this morning, but we got plenty of dreary rain.
Saturday at work was calm and productive for me. I am hoping that the same will be true for me tonight. With the wedding this Thursday and the party slash reception this Saturday, I do not need any additional stress in my life.
To help me relax I have been enjoying episodes of Full Metal Panic. I actually laugh out loud when I watch and I like the contrast between it and Ergo Proxy.
Time to eat some French fries before I leave to see The Other Boleyn Girl.
